Communication conquers feeling of disappointment By Elizabeth Badejo

Valentine’s Day has come and gone leaving many people with mixed feelings, for some couples. It was the most amazing celebration together exchanging lovely gifts, romantic dinner, and a cozy night in each other’s arms. For some other couples, Valentine’s Day was like every other day which could have been different if one or both made the extra effort to communicate their feelings before the day. The truth is that many couples fall out after Valentine’s Day due to undue pressure of expectations and complete disappointments from lack of fulfillment. Perhaps one begins to wonder why this single day in a year can be so sentimental and significant enough to wreck relationships and vows meant to stand the test of time.Validate your feelingsValentine’s Day often sends the wrong impression of love in many ways due to the social media campaigns to commercialise the day which many also believe has devalued the key purposes of true love. It is not unusual to feel unhappy and resentful after Valentine’s Day when you have been beclouded with fantasies and unrealistic expectations of love which can shape the way you think and perceive your spouse who may also have a different insight about love. It is important to validate your feelings as it can trigger unreasonable behaviour especially if you have been holding back your feelings on other issues in your marriage and this could give you more reason to become judgmental and disappointed at this time.Think outside your own feelingsWhen you are captivated by your own feelings alone, it is often difficult to open your heart to appreciate other things around you. If your spouse is dependable and caring in his/her own capacity but lacking in gifting and honouring special events, it is important to focus on the positives and find a way to build trust in your marriage even when you feel disappointed. Trust is a valuable tool in marriage and can help you become more open minded. Think outside the box and become less anxious in difficult situations.Let love start with youIt is also important to create the kind of standards you would love to experience in your marriage rather than wait and assume that your spouse understands what you want or how you feel. Let love start with you when your partner is not living up to his/her expectation or standard. Trust your own instincts and summon the confidence to open the conversation or ask those difficult questions you have been storing in your heart for long. Many marriages break up due to lack of clarity. Communication is important in understanding how each person feels. Look for the perfect time to talk as most behaviours are influenced by a person’s feelings, thoughts, and experiences.Be caring and sensitiveIf your spouse forgot about Valentine’s Day this year, think of other situations that may override it on his mind. Inconsistency can be a sign that your spouse may be struggling and need you to hold up to your own responsibility too. Perhaps, you are the taker and not the giver and have never given back. A conversation will allow your spouse to express his/own feelings this time so that you can start to practice kindness and appreciation too. Copied from https://punchng.com/communication-conquers-feeling-of-disappointment/