RiverNaija

Traditions are fundamental to families and society at large. People who live together without tradition are more likely to live in disunity and chaos. Every marriage also comes with its tradition irrespective of customs, religion or characteristics. Tradition provides the foundation and strengthens the principles of the agreement. Today, some couples no longer believe in traditions and consider it archaic. Unfortunately, this notion is having negative impact on many marriages and family lives as well as influencing their moral compass too. Tradition is a source of identity Family traditions can bring huge benefits into the home especially where children form part of the setting. It can provide the right values and a source of identity to help them find the right balance in life. Many children adopt their host countries languages and values due to parents’ ignorance regarding traditions and the significance of knowing their own true origin. A family tradition can be as simple as spe...

Bolaji Ogundimu had only recently been appointed as my Secretary when she put in an application for a housing loan. I had put aside a lump sum of money that could be borrowed by my staff interest-free. This was operated as a round-robin. As some paid back every month, new loans could be disbursed. However, Bolaji’s chances of getting a loan in the short-term were slim because many others were in the queue before her. This was operated as a round-robin. As some paid back every month, new loans could be disbursed. However, Bolaji’s chances of getting a loan in the short-term were slim because many others were in the queue before her. But then two “Good Samaritans” came to see me. They insisted that Bolaji should be given a loan right away. What kind of favouritism is this, I wondered? “Bolaji has just applied,” I pointed out. “There are so many others who applied before her and are yet to receive. How could you, in good conscience, argue that she should leapfrog over those she met on th...

The arrest of Nigerian-born Ramoni Abass, with Hushpuppi social media identity and his gang in DUBAI over alleged transnational cybercrime during which nearly 2million were ripped off, unveils how deceitful living is ubiquitous, celebrated and elevated above moral uprightness in Nigeria. ‘Hushpuppism’ is a survivalist strategy which deliberately distorts reality in relation to what is earned, how it is earned and the revealed identity. The revealed identity has two parts: the actual and the framed identity. In relation to the former, only the acting individual and the gang keep this close to their heart. The framed identity is that part of human life that is portrayed to outsiders as the actual. To break this down, there are many contemporary politicians in Nigeria who portray themselves as followers of late Sage, Obafemi Awolowo’s ideology but their actual realities have betrayed them. Just as the followers of Awolowo’s political ideology call themselves Awoists and dress alike those ...

Another crucial point against the amalgamation is the extremely selfish, myopic and immoral reasons British imperialists carried out the exercise. Clearly, the intention or purpose for creating something largely determines the use(s) to which it would be put and the moral weight or importance to be attached to it. With respect to nation-building, this requirement becomes a categorical imperative because the moral telos or foundation of a nation serves as the beacon of light for clarity of vision in the future and subjective glue that binds together individuals and groups that constitute it. Given that the British colonial government was motivated by the very self-serving and ignoble obsessive quest for maximum economic exploitation of “Niger area” and administrative convenience, the amalgamation was built on a moral and ideological quicksand. Let us be clear on this point: Britain never intended to create a great Nigerian nation that would be the pride of its citizens and the black ra...

On a beautiful Sunday morning during a church service, a pastor gave a message he said was from God to every member in attendance. Pastor told his parishioners that God had given an instruction that when every member got back home, they should lift up their one big nagging problem before God in a special prayer accompanied with prophetic dancing. According to the pastor, God promised to turn their mourning into dancing. A male member of the church, who was in attendance without his wife, got home with holy anger, bear-hugged his wife, picked her up and started dancing while speaking in unknown tongues. Curious wife who had neither danced nor hugged her husband in two years blushed in excitement and joy after the drama and then asked: “Honey, today’s service must have been very great, what got you so excited about me?” The husband replied; “Well, the pastor told us that when we get home, we should lift up one nagging problem we face in life before God. That’s what I just did”. T...

There is nothing like a perfect marriage in today’s world plagued with mysteries and uncertainties. Nonetheless, when there is openness, sincerity and trust; love can certainly conquer all. Marriage is the beginning of a partnership journey which involves several complicated dynamics in itself; unfortunately today many couples also carry pains and distress into their marriages, sometimes so pervasive and emotional that it can be internally damaging too. Shame is contagious The presence of shame can sometimes be traced back to childhood traumas where many couples had developed a shameful core which has continued to dominate their minds, bodies and souls; affecting their thoughts and feelings in their adult lives today. Living with the feeling of shame can be contagious and can quickly flitter and destroy the spirit of love in your marriage, so contagious that it can hold back all your hopes and aspirations too. Shame is real Everyone must have experienced a form of shame or anot...

The ‘cut and join’ carpenter is an ever-present metaphor of every instance of atrocious tinkering with most things that matter to us. It is ultimately a curiosity that reflects our national penchant for ad hoc solutions, short cuts, shoddiness and a general distaste for rigour even in important things. In street parlance, we are talking of the ‘any how’ and ‘anything goes’ syndrome in our national culture. After all, this is Nigeria, we casually declare, while expecting the same results as other nations who have done their homework. We even expect the rest of the world to lower standards, bend established rules to accommodate our untidy manners and even clap for us for ‘trying’. So, the ‘cut and join’ politician, judge or legislator etc. fall in line with their shoddy artisanal compatriots as typically Nigerian creatures. On the current public and private quarrels with President Buhari’s cabinet nominations and their microwave Senate confirmations, we all-President, parliament, the co...