RiverNaija

There is nothing as mentally rewarding as the capacity for one to freely express and determine the course of one’s life -which is the fundamental doctrine of democracy. This freedom, however, is not without its own challenges and responsibility as absolute freedom could breed anarchy. The independence anniversary of our nation is an eloquent reminder of the great opportunity we had over the past five decades as a country to self-govern ahead of some African countries who were under colonial rule this period. Colonisation definitely has its very ugly sides but there are certain opportunities we missed as a people along the way. The colonisation process gave us an opportunity to interrogate our culture and to expunge certain unwholesome practices and embrace the good ones. We had a leadership template that was primitive and hegemonic, which colonial masters juxtaposed from the traditional institutions gradually into the educated elite class of their own creation. This ruling class ha...

Discourse about emotional disconnectedness cannot be exhaustive without considering the concept of emotional bank account. This was brilliantly defined by the legendary author of the book entitled, “Seven habits of highly effective people,” Stephen R. Covey, as ‘a metaphor that describes the amount of trust that has been built up in any relationship. It is the feeling of safeness you have with another human being. This concept operates in our relationships and it is the most fundamental concept in handling emotional disconnectedness. Most of us hardly ever perceive interpersonal relationships in the context of deposit or withdrawal to the emotional bank account that underlines all of human relationships. If I make deposits into the emotional bank account of persons I am in a relationship with through courtesy, kindness, honesty and keeping my commitments to them, I build a reserve. ADVERTISEMENTThe trust towards me becomes higher, and I can call upon that trust level such that the emot...

The term ‘man’ is usually reserved for an adult male of the human species; while the term ‘manhood’ is used to describe the period after he has transitioned from boyhood, having attained male secondary sexual characteristics that symbolise his coming of age. Masculinity may vary in different cultures, but it has universal principles across cultures. Sometimes, gender scholars use the phrase ‘hegemonic masculinity’ to establish this universal concept. Masculinity embodies assertiveness, responsibility, selflessness, ethics, sincerity and respect. Masculinity itself has social status that has strong associations with physical and moral strength. The biological inputs through hormones induce the masculinisation process that redirects the biological processes from the default female route. In many cultures, displaying characteristics not typical to one’s gender may become a social problem for the individual. However, labelling and conditioning are based on gender assumptions as part of ...

In my last article ‘Success is 80 per cent psychology’; I stated the fact that “Poverty is a mindset, not the state of your wallet, bank account or finances” and used the ‘be – do – have’ model to illustrate. Based on feedback and request for further clarification, I will focus on the poverty mindset in this article. I am not surprised at the questions as it took me a while to gain this understanding. For most of my adult years, I believed that poverty had to do with lack of money and the solution was of course more money. I came to realise that more money did not solve the problem. If I did not change my money management philosophy, I would end up trapped in the rat race, repeating what I saw people around me doing. You are not broke because you don’t have money. You are broke because of the poor choices you made when money comes into your hands. The way you currently manage your finances is not the only way. There are other ways, and you have the power to choose We are creatures o...

Hope is defined as the belief or expectation that something wished for will happen. This attitude of mind connects us to the future and keeps the activities of life focused on future goals in a way that invigorates life. However, the accruable state of mind can experience setbacks and at times total breakdown when the future seems bleak and hopeless, especially when certain permutations, forecasts and projections coming from the news media spell doom. This has serious implications for the mental health, according to Aaron Beck in his explanation for cognitive distortions. He is of the opinion that human minds operate according to certain cognitive templates, such that when they malfunction, can lead to depressive illness which is a very common disorder. My basic deduction here is that our moods are a product of our thoughts. What our thoughts dwell on will invariably dictate the tone of our mood. Hope is in the future and a little distant, apart from it being very vulnerable to disi...